This rapid eye movement technique turns out to be similar to hypnosis, but also similar to the "mind-emptying" machine on the Star Trek episode where the mad doctor goes insane at the end when he gets a dose of his own medicine. At least it seemed that way to me. It did bring forth some thoughts and issues of mine that I probably needed to deal with but I didn't think that there was much kindliness to the method. It seemed more like I "cooperated" by making my image of a goldfish clear enough to my therapist so that he could assess me as needing more medicine. I felt fixated on his hand movements; compelled by them, and therefore not really a willing participant. On the other hand, I agreed that I need more meds, and last night I felt enough hostility toward my mother that I felt I needed to go to the hospital. After talking things over with her and my doctor today, I feel better, am switching to a new medication ("Saphris"?) and am not so uncomfortable that I am going to go to the hospital. I thought, anyway, that if I went in I was never coming out. So let me know what you, my readers, think. I have a lot of work to do.
Love, c*
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