To the Wall, To the Limit -- a first approximation

What a great line in that song of several years ago.

To live freely and passionately is my hope. To integrate kindness, caring and sexuality will help lead to that end.

I believe that re-integrating these aspects of my life will begin by making my mother's home better for her. This is something I've never really done, but I think that not only will she be happier with me, I will be happier with myself and have some realistic idea about what it is I need in the way of household work if and when I move.

I believe that the time of trepidation and anxiety is slowly coming to a close. The decisions I shall make will re-integrate my life in such a way that it will become clear that what I do and how I do it -- productively, constructively and freely -- is what is meant to be for me.

My dreams are to be loved as a whore (I wish I knew why); to be a writer, scholar and perhaps teacher of the art of the humane (perhaps something different from the humane arts). And of course to do it with style.

I believe that I have accepted myself to the extent that the above is coming into reach.

To know where my limits are and learn to work within them will bring me to the place where obstacles will turn into gateways and my life will take on a meaning the Goddess smiles upon.

Now comes more work.