Who killed me?

Screaming at the brown and black people (though not today), perhaps I surmise I want to kill because I am already dead?

In that case, who killed me?

Was it the joy of the land?  The grasp of Christianity?  The anger of military reversals around the world (in the 70s)?

Was I alive in my mother's womb?

Was it crack?

Was it New York?

Was it intellect?

Was it transie house>

My mother?  My grandmother who had night mares about black people when a small child?

Am I gone over the edge because I do not know pain as teachers work hard work hard.

Here I am over the deep end?

Was it Nixon Reagan or Bush?

Was it necklacing in South Africa>

Was it Shaida?

Am I ungrateful to breathe every day as Manny and Joseph said>

Or am I so unproductive all I do is breathe through my lazy self-pity, as I gathered from a lesbian therapist who had bee n in an auto accident>

These poems about the deadness of all I knew; these poems about the unreality of Wallace Stevens.

The night posits stars and the Goddess wanders.

Changes I have to make

Notes

Coldness and sex don't like bommy
I don't work hard enough at love.  Or not.

Why I bother God?

Why is it alone?

Why I don't know.  Why I don't know.

Wizard bombs are not love.

Goddesses sorry Mommy love art (people)

Thank you a lot a lot for love   Julia is my love.

I am an angry cruel lonely worker.

So what?

I was lonely when tried to become loved.

I was lonely when I was alone.

All this is peace.





*****************************




Chelsea is peaceful; Rusty knows it.

Telel me where I'm wrong.

I am not a killer.  I need to switch to a low cholesterol diet.  Maybe two birds with one stone?

Okay what is it?

Okay there is a word that makes me troubled.  This word begins with thread and ends with stubborn.  I am a thread; this is a thread; I am stubborn.

Where am I?

I am sitting in front of my computer in my brother's house on the North Oregon Coast.  A lot (reasons)) were pondering laughter and I am a good person, which may be irrelevant to the extent that I am really not.

Too much weird ness Is a road to cruelty, why in fact I am here.  I tried to disguise my passion for martyrdom by acting out upon my life without acting with myself as good.

Which home good is good?

Where am I going to live?

Oddly is here.  This is the even-odd polarity which so many overlook.  What is good?

I don't even think about bad people, a worker loves money at NO ONE.  I do not act like this.  Maybe when I belong here whether I am good will become strong.

I do not believe I belong here.

The beauty overwhelms work.  My work is to act being a sorry god of men.

'tis nothing beyond body and body goddesses sorry it is you who belongs.

Such destructive hostile sentiments.

Dear Rusty,

S
ince you belong, I wish that you give a good possibility for strong body home.

Sorry I am worth it to men.  They suck.  I don't care if they belong to me.  I wish there was a lot of booms and a lot of flambes in this queer clown tank.

kind by pink.

polijmn

As where I do not begot when I bother weird bother weird weird weird weird weird woman pockets positively weird work hard is a binch of body bomb work hard work hard is blond is blond is a friend of bombs with terrorism is it crowns work hard it is a friend work hard work hard it is a berenda work hard it is a flange of bombs work hard it is a lounge work hard it is a passion work hard without a word it is a bomb work hard god tarks work hard work hard work hard it is a lonely work hard work hard it is a wenc work hard i don't work hard work hard whether i work hard it is a wenc wenc work hard i loved her work hard no respect and it is a wenc positively a passion and it is land work hard positively dumb for me is my mother wenc is mom is my mom is mom is a bomb work hard dumb work hard is a bomb work hard suck it no i will not suck you for my life.  Positively it is my mind work hard.  Cold positive positive positive andrea work hard you work hard you are pondering the positive of bombs and thoughts that are loose and sick to you as you pitch a long positive place it is you work hard to you you you is you conviction is you you are positive for you to be god is you as a woman positive place is your positive positivity calle d dumb called dumb called once positive positive ingland is you positive you are back to god your body is your positive positive English positive work hared work it here you are you work here work here work your mind it is your life here to be a worker working listening for money interested bodies you are new men to be land for the buns of your dreams conviction is a value of land positive positive god is a dense pin with a bomb in the creator's pin is bins your bomb calls me god for it is you suck it is a bomb work hard to you are land you are a bomb work hard suck it work hard cankers positive body duncey work your money here you are dumb work hard suck it suck you work hard it is a nut typing cunt work hard.  Sick positive works positive plains work here o r be positive work hard you are woking too much to act with you be you are you being being here for you as a bomb work hard you tense me work hard troubling cold positive work hard work hard typing you works being here is a band working kind passion work here poor and lonely work is a ban tensing the friends testing work is your land your pain is your loneliness to you you are lonely work hard.  Typing is another worker going work typing I liked I liked I liked you as nothing cold an d bothersome col d and working lonely work lonely pain working you is a band work hard cold work is your passion working lonely working cold working bands you stupid moose is new to my family work is here.  Work coldly man is a night of man called type of man is your interest cold man types work has hard work has d for you do it do your money do you do you do your money is you you are body you are pines you are pom you are a bomb work here work here work your mo9ney goddamn it kindly work here here work here you are working typing it is you who works your mother positively is you hard work here be yourself eat it kin work is your positive pom work it kind positive work is your life work it your liw woks work has your life works your people kindly work here work here work here wok are dunce it is you working your laughtwe work hew work here work you wok you work your buns work h o

an exercise in loosening up

lokpiujkiolpoiuyhbnmjhuikjjuuyttttrrfvffgghy

lazy

If I'm shining in the grass and I write the

the sentence ended "bombing my mother."

Worse than useless.

My brother is home.  At least I ran the dishwasher.

Sylvia Plath

This mother grates my pump; this is a bad family without retired Brenda's answer.

Work and leisure.

Chelsea Goodwin subscribes to Goth Culture.  She says the best I can do is be a science fiction nerd and go to conventions wearing costumes.

Possibly it's boring; it hurts and that's the drama.

When will yonder prance dream where I wish why I am alone here is density's road?

Density:  thick a s a brick.

That's Jethro Tull, Rusty.

Open the height.

Open the brendas.

Bisexual Brenda was a well-known activist I put down for her weight.  She also ate and smoked cigarettes.  I am sorry, Brenda.

Okay.  

The racism people say they are fighting is change.

I would love my prince whether I am good or a  high school thinker.


I do not worry whether this is high school.  It is weird weird etc.

I held the Earth because there was a witch who listened.

middle class decision making protocols

My first temptation is to rant.

The excitement that loss [bisexuality] extremely launches is cruel.

The first order of knowledge for me is observation.

It is worrisome when the freedom one belongs to (that is, the freedom I like to say is laughter, friendly good parts of life) doesn't become presence of self for others.  I feel I disappear without making my presence known to the commonality, which in this realm, seems to be under the purview of a "middle-class."

It is peace which brings hope; peace which makes the intercourse of each available to all.

[However]  I have also witnessed peace and individuality commingling upon the success of a demonstration for transgender rights.  A rush of joy to which I belonged which (I have no idea whether I love my work) enveloped our transiee house living room became lavender work,


As soon as lab

success shiv experimentation

Inhibited writing

This andrea art.  This plan.  This plane.  I gave a strength to my [no word except crancy, being an interruption or as Joseph would have it a brain fart though expressive of some deep psycholinguistic structure unknown in import].

This plane I know is an array here.  It is my array,  It is a famous teal plane.

I know I have wounded my [an uninhibitedly typed word] crack.

Only I feel

uninhibited.

presence pounds

'tis a haunted omen art kin trunces whether where it is positively eats ella bothering the trance allah;
Clown palm prances it belongs here with presences eating pain without presence without wanatch.

Inter mittent plows weird.

The straight story and where is it where is the plan of that praying clay called crances?

A silly place where all presences scare my mother trying here to create that rest a bong places

with my crance.

It is an ululation drinking very passionate presences.

Queer bathing creates a breast and what family goddesses friend on my a thonk where yas clowns positively passion client.

He knew where there was pretty hunting.