There's no particular reason to write anything as I have nothing particular to say. Reading over some of my blog posts makes me sound like I am approximately 7/8 resentful, negative, angry, etc.
Sometimes it takes a long time to reach self acceptance. I know that a lot of what I've said and done is repugnant or frightening to others. All I can say is that I have strived to not reject any part of myself. However, that was very often to please others. Also I often internalized other's doubts about me or about themselves as my own. I suppose it is because I don't understand that when people have something to say it is sometimes a very indirect attempt to get me to love myself so I can respect and love them. I made the mistake of supposing I had to accept not only myself as myself but all others as myself (or as if I were them). I don't want to doubt myself anymore, so this is what I have to say. I'm a woman! And it's no fucking big deal!
If I ever disrespect anyone ever again you can hang me out to dry, literally if you so choose. Of course that's pretty easy here in Arizona, far far away from where I practiced my foolish ways.
Smile at your friends and let them know you LOVE them.
Love,
me.
I hope
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