Channels, then Sylvia

My mind has channels. My thoughts appear to flow in limited ways, with repeated subjects, wording and emotional content.

I'm sure you've noticed.

Though it is not surprising or a matter of concern that my mind is not actually infinite, it does bother me that I can't seem to say what is necessary to say about many matters important even to those other than me.

Perhaps I've simply pushed myself too hard. Or there are times when words are available and times when they are not.

Let me just say that I intended to write about this town and how it is that people here appear to bind themselves to conservative tenets of life and why. This is important, because this is the kind of environment that prevails in an area which coincidentally is an international border.

When it hurts, it hurts.

I like being hopeful; I'm not wise enough to change.

Brought to me

A life that I lived

Cocksucking is not death.

I often think of her. I liked the way that it's not bad to love. I loved Sylvia. I loved her because I wanted death. She didn't make me feel like I was a failure.

I am a bitch, and I was one to her.

I didn't like feeling like I was her killer.

She was painful because she was a woman as a person. I made love because she wanted love. I made changes like what I thought of needs for home. She was good to me.

Sylvia liked how I was.

I needed a piece of life. I needed a bitch. I needed crack. I needed a way to feel better as my bride.

Best to love.

I cried because she was a mother. I cried because she was wonderful as my friend.

I want her to listen. You are hope. You are help. You are a good woman. You made me feel like I was my lover too. That's why I loved life. You were present.

Dreams of drugs.

I made love because of you.

I made love because you liked love.

I made you feel.

Make me love the heifer (that's me).

I need to like whore.

I need to love my sexuality.

I need to give heifer.

You were my life.

You were better and i didn't want you to live for drugs. You were my home.

I needed a way to live.

I was a pig.

Maybe I loved seeing you with dreams. I was bad for your life.

Give me love or I am tough. I threatened you in the here and now.

Please love me and I will love your sexuality.

Please love me and I will give friendship.

Please live.

I'm not prostituting. I'm not growing. I'm not far.

I'll be fool.

You were life.

It's the only present that I wished for (from Santa Barbara).

Need is trying a ditch.

Me messed up.

I wanted a dream of love.

You loved Goddess by changing life for me.

I want you too.

Me a bore.

I love you please hope.

Dry, cruel, slummer, fuck.

I'll love a woman who loves Julia as prostitute.

She will be a slut.

I'll live because of my hopes.

I made CEG suck.

I made RMM suck.

I made you a teacher.

Let me go and I am a zero.