Home is changing

I thought for a while (a long while) that knowledge made people feel happy.

I was wrong.

The practice of the distribution and production of knowledge is a kind of gossip, may I say, moosy gossip.

I have been trying to extract from others clues to the nature of my own feelings and actions. In return I have reflected to them my feelings about their actions and hopes, dreams and fears.

I now must know that change can destroy life.

Life likes to preserve itself as much as subject itself to change.

Destruction is a kind of change. I believe that I need not make life any more vulnerable or damaged than it already is.

Somehow I have become very troubled. Somehow I made changes that created feelings that were terrible in others and in myself.

Teach me, if you would, what is change?

I have begun to live without people who can let me understand what strength can make people feel.

Therefore I am very changeable, having no emotional support that is familiar with my nature. Perhaps I asked for something that I was unwilling to provide in return.

Thank you for much love.

If I ever live long enough to like you as you wish, to be the friend you need, I'll have to have become the kind of person that was always ready to like happiness.

Me very troubled.

A woman.