Now is the time

What have I done?

I've made some pretty embarrassing admissions and assertions recently here.

Why would anyone say these things about themselves?

I know that the way that I make myself free is by externalizing and thus releasing the awful things inside. Not all awful, but the idea is there.

Enough pontificating: I need to write about the Goddess.

She is mother. She makes love hopeful. I remember the Goddess as the fierce, loving and kind strength that brings love to all who be.

I need to stop remembering freedom as a way to dominate, manipulate or be cruel.

I believe that when I know change as love that I can remember hope, I can remember beauty, I can remember kindness and compassion.

Her Will always makes the darkness bright, makes me marvel, astonished, at Her unconditional love for peace.

I have made terrible mistakes. Was I cruel? There was change and I deemed cruelty just and loving. I thought of sexuality as the Goddess's terrible hatred. I was a pest. I was money instead of life (my life).

I was wrong to give hope when I knew that darkness was fear to me. I was drugged to make feelings money. [Particularly by those angry priests, the psychiatrists].

Money is the fear of the Goddess. I must dream that change will bring Her presence near.

If you or I ever live to see life as beauty, as the birth and rebirth of love, then you and I will be free and home.

I am trying to believe. I am trying to live. I know that I can live. I want you to know that I try because I am a bitch.

Trying, trying, trying.

May you live with hope and peace.

As I can be, so may I feel Her as hope.

Me need a kind loving mate. I have made change love. It is weird and I know it.

Listen for Her in the beauty that you make.

Guess what I wanted?

Fierce money, fierce hate.

It's here.

Maybe I can "work through it."

Dear Sylvia, I tried to give friendship. I made terror. Tell me what I am, so I can be with you.

And the answer is [opening envelope] A vulture.

Blessed Be,